Wednesday, July 8, 2009

July Eighth, 2009

Dear Kelly,

I feel really bad when I go to an Italian restaurant and order either pizza or mac and cheese. Sometimes those two dishes are simply irresistible, however. Besides, most other food in those restaurants involves things like eggplant and mushrooms, which are not okay.
It takes a lot of effort to get a pizza that actually turns out well. I've made it from scratch, and it usually just ends in bitter, spicy Italian tears. In any case, I prefer American pizza to Italian pizza anyway. This may have something to do with my phobia of eating vegetables, set in by my childhood of being raised by a vegetarian mother.

I have a couple proposals for you, while you're reading this.

First, I propose that you share your inhuman vocabulary with me. Someday, I will not need a dictionary to IM with you. I propose that we expand my internal dictionary by assigning one of your favorite words to be a Word of the Day -- you teach me its meaning, and I use it as much as humanly possible over the course of the day. I will have a minimum quota for the number of times I can use this word in my upcoming letter to you... Perhaps I would be required to say this word three to five times in each posting.

Second, I want you to cuddle with me on my couch.

I was looking at a photo of us together in Seattle today, and I have to say that your hair is really quite impressive. My hair would have been better in that photo if I wasn't wearing a hat, but it seemed to go well enough anyway.
But seriously. Your hair is majestic like a killer whale, big and beautiful and with a mind of its own. It could probably eat me if it tried... Do you keep it so lush and curly by feeding it a pound of raw meat every other day?
Actually, that is a lie. Your hair is docile and friendly, and probably an herbivore. Sometimes it seems like it wants to fight you for control of your brain, though, like a killer alien. I have to say, I'm just a little bit jealous of it.

Anyways, that is all on my mind. Also I am out of time to write... my next letter should be longer. I look forward to your reply.


No comments:

Post a Comment