Thursday, July 9, 2009

July, July (ninth)


Hey, you! I wrote this entire letter, and then blogspot deleted it when I tried to post the first time. So now I'm starting over.

Pineapple is the greatest thing to happen to pizza since the Vulcans came to Earth and shared the secret of cheese with nomadic hunter-gatherers back in 1500 B.C.E. (These hunter-gatherers always hand-tossed their pizza crust.) Of course, there's no saying pineapple didn't also come from space. Maybe they were a sentient race that tried to colonize Earth back in prehistoric times, but ended up adapting to the environment by becoming fruit. There is no way to tell without a non-paradox-causing time machine.
Maybe pineapples were created by something from space, too. The thing that turned our gray, rocky Carbon into green, leafy, juicy, delicious pineapple plants may have come from asteroids, or maybe another dimension. Oh, I wonder if Heaven is actually the 7th Dimension. That would be really cool. It would also make Michelangelo's paintings even cooler than they already are. Renaissance-era religion? Try FREAKING SCIENCE FICTION!!!

I feel kind of bad for using the triple exclamation point there. As you know, I am morally opposed to repeating or mixing question marks or exclamation points. They were made for emphasis, there is no reason to emphasize them. You may recall that sign posted outside your dorm:
FLOOR HAS BEEN WAXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It could probably be improved by removing some or even all of those exclamation points. For example,
Floor has been waxed. Do not walk on the floor until 12:30.
The sign was posted on your doorknob. If that positioning wasn't going to get our attention, how are a few dozen pieces of punctuation going to help its chances?

I am all for new words. You have already observed my perspicacious use of perspicacious, and I'll be sure to try to work avocation into my writing too. However, I have a Word of the Day for you, too: Qanothersznxtfd. This isn't a word, just yet, but as you know it is worth 446 points in Scrabble, so we should use it as often as possible until it becomes common enough to work into the official Scrabble dictionary. I'm not sure what its definition is, but words are your avocation, not mine, so you should help me think of what it means. It should have something to do with "Another", which is inside it.
That reminds me, you actually know the word for that effect -- when you put one word inside another word. I can't remember that word, so I hereby request you reenlighten me.

For what it's worth, I am glad your hair is not a parasite. It does seem to contribute greatly to your abillity to fight predators and attract a mate. I know that I, at least, quite like it. And everyone has quirks, which make us interesting. I am quite happy to know all of the quirks of yours that I do.

Zemanta has provided "relevant" images for me. Eight of them are of pizza, one of them is of Supergirl's first appearance in Superman comic books. I have no idea how the hell that is relevant, so maybe we should discuss backstory of why that is there.

hehehe, I mention Supergirl, and now half of my images are of her.


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